


Say goodbye, I'll be with you forever

by beingthedreameriam



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Husbands, M/M, Nightmares, Resurrection Stone, kinda comfort?? idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:47:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingthedreameriam/pseuds/beingthedreameriam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco dies and Harry is devastated aaand things happen and resurrection stone happens and crying happens and idk.<br/>guess it's kinda about Harry coping?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say goodbye, I'll be with you forever

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, I woke up at six in the morning and had this idea in my head = I started crying.. in my bed... at six in the morning...  
> Buut then I wrote it down.
> 
> Sorry about any mistakes, english is not my native language c:
> 
> Hope you enjoy... or not.. I didn't enjoy writing this... with all the crying... sorry.

"No!" Harry cried as they came with the news. Bad news really.  
"It can't be true! Your lying, you must be lying!" He shouted, slumping against the wall, starting to sob.  
His breathing started to get ragged and he choked on his sobs.  
"Please tell me it's not true..."  
The Aurors in the door looked uncomfortable at witnessing the scene and shuffled on their feet.  
"I didn't even have time to say goodbye."  
Harry's voice was now a mere whisper in the air, a small echo of a lost fight.

//

After the war Harry had been living away from all the publicity for some time. He really had wanted to grieve alone.  
His friends had been worried an tried to get him out more but in the end let him be for a bit, resolute to try again later.  
What actually got him to live again - well no one had expected it.

After the war Draco did say sorry to all the people he wronged when he was only convicted to one year of house arrest that he could do at Hogwarts.  
To Harry he came last.

At the time Harry was surprised to find that his apology sounded sincere and he became curious.  
No one knows how it happened but they started to meet once a week, normally just to talk.  
On rare occasions they would go out to the muggle world and grab something to eat away from reporters.  
Normally they just sat on the couch.  
And Harry felt more comfortable than he had in a long time, to the surprise of really everyone actually.  
And they started to meet twice a week.  
And sometimes they would meet a third time in a pub with a small group of friends.

Draco and Harry were falling for each other slowly, over all the ours spent together and it is somewhat ironic how they actually got together.

//

"How?" Harry croaked out when he calmed down a bit after what seemed like a little eternity.  
"How did he... - did he .. die?" He said quietly, as if something would break in him if he talked any louder.  
He really didn't want this to be real. It would've been ok if this was a dream and he could wake up to a warm body next to him, telling him it was just a nightmare.  
But then reality came crashing down once again.  
"He was walking through diagon alley, some death eaters came out of the blue. They got him before anyone could do anything. They were catches but it was more luck that Aurors were nearby."  
Harry again became a shaking sobbing mess, still sitting pressed against the wall, tears flowing freely.  
"He didn't deserve that.. anything of it.." He whispered into the thin air, to no one in particular.  
"He really didn't." One of the Aurors  
said, grimacing. It was never easy to talk to the family and friends of dead people. Especially when said family was Harry Potter.  
The Aurors gave him Draco's things, that he had with him, the ring, some money, Wizarding ID and so on.  
Harry couldn't bear to look at it.  
He picked up the ring and felt the cold metal between his fingers. As cold as Draco probably was when his heart had stopped beating.

But then, there it was. A little wrapped package Draco had with him. The Aurors didn't know what it was but Harry was sure he did. He knew that somewhere in the house was another one - wrapped package that is.  
When the Aurors were gone he stood up and put the present away. The reason Draco had been in Diagon Alley. After all, his birthday was only tomorrow.  
He laid down on the couch and shivered, he was cold and it hurt so much. His chest ached with a throbbing pain, though he couldn't say if his heart was even beating anymore.  
Eventually, he cried himself in some sleep like state, shaking from time to time as some lone sobs escaped his mouth.  
That's how Ron and Hermione found him when they came over after they had heard.

//

It was when they had been meeting for the better of a year and were out drinking with friends that Draco excused himself to go to the toilet.  
When he didn't come back for some time Harry went to look if anything happened.  
He found Draco standing at the sink, shaking with silent tears on his face and it brought him back to sixth year.  
"Draco" he called out softly, as not to startle him.  
When Draco turned his eyes were big and for a moment they were just standing there, staring at each other until Draco surged forward and threw himself into Harry's arms, clinging onto him.  
He cried and Harry soothed him the best he could.  
And then he sent a patronus to Hermione and apparated them straight home, or, well at least his home.  
They talked for hours and then they climbed into bed, tangling their legs, arms loose around each other.  
When they woke up next day it was already eleven o'clock and they didn't need to say anything at all to know that they both wanted this.  
They kissed and it was wonderful.  
They spent the day together lazying around the flat, cuddling.  
And Harry loved Draco, loved being with Draco.  
And Draco's personality. He just couldn't get enough of him.  
He was still all snarky and a bit sassy really, but now and especially with Harry there was also something softer to the edges.  
He was lighter, had a really good humour and though Draco had a perfect smirk, Harry found him loving the small smile on Draco's lips even more endearing.  
What came next was only natural.

//

When Harry woke up he saw something bushy.  
What was understandable as he saw the back of Hermione's head.  
When Ron and Hermione noticed that he is awake they turned to him and he could see the dried tears on both their faces.  
"Oh Harry!" Hermione just said and hugged the life out of him, burying her head in his neck.  
Ron too hugged the two of them and they all sat together, crying at the loss.  
They didn't know how long they sat there but Harry told them that no he was not okay at all and he won't be in the near future but with some time he eventually will be.  
And right now he had the need to ba alone for a while, he won't be celebrating his birthday tomorrow.  
Or the next week, or ever. He didn't really know.  
When they were gone he lay back, dwelling in memories.

//

Draco had moved in half a year later. They were happy and everyone could see that.  
The stayed together through the problems that came with the press and the hate mail that came from homophobe people and those who didn't think an ex- Death eater was good enough for the golden boy.  
But they mastered it together.  
The nightmares they still had.  
The arguments.  
One time they had a really bad one and Draco moved out for a week but he came back and said no matter what he'll always come back to Harry and they cried together and loves each other.

It was inevitable that two years after Harry proposed only to find out Draco had wanted to do the same.  
When they married they were 24 and happy as can be.  
Their friends were happy for them and even though the loss if the war was still there, the memories bad and the nightmares came and went, they felt like they could try to really live again.  
To love live and honour the dead with moving on, not letting their sacrifice go to waste.  
And Draco and Harry wanted to built their own family. They started to discuss and thought about adopting, maybe an orphan. They liked the idea of that, giving someone the chance of a loving family who wouldn't have it otherwise.

//

Harry remembered all the little things.  
The time when Draco made him breakfast in bed when he was feeling really down after a particularly bad dream.  
Or all the little touches they shared in the course of the day.  
How he would miss the evenings spent cuddling in front of the television.  
The way Draco would always come up from behind and nuzzle his neck when he was cooking. He thought he could still feel the ghost of his breath in his neck when he only concentrated hard enough.  
Or the crooked smile Draco always had when he did something stupid (endearing) that he knew was stupid and did it anyway.  
Like that time they went to the beach and he had stripped down to just his boxers and jumped into the sea that was way to cold.  
They had fun that day anyway.  
And he had loved the way how Draco just exactly knew what he needed. They knew each other so well and Harry just couldn't believe it was all over.

That night Harry dreamed of the battle of Hogwarts and the forbidden forest of Voldemort and how he died, of his parents, Sirius, Remus, all those who died, the faces of family and friends who lost people near them.  
He dreamed that he stood over a stiff and not moving Draco, ice cold with his eyes wide open in shock.

When he woke up in the middle of the night he knew what he had to do.  
"Happy birthday to me." He whispered with a look at the time and he lay down at Draco's side of the bed, inhaling his scent. He had cast a stasis charm in that side so it'd stay. All he really could think of right now was that he wanted Draco by his side. Wanted him to tell him that everything would be ok.  
Wanted him to hug him, wanted to tell Draco that he loves him, that he'll always love him, no matter what.  
He again had tears in his eye, hot water running down his cheeks.  
He thought of all the things he never got to say, of all the missed opportunities to say these things and how back then it never seemed important.  
How he regretted not ever having told Draco how he loved that little birthmark right behind his earlobe.  
Little things that now seemed like the most important things in the world.

//

When Harry got up in the morning he looked at the little present that still lay on the table where he had left it yesterday.  
He had made up his mind and no one really could've changed it in this point.

When he arrived at Hogwarts in the office of the headmistress he was greeted by a sad smile.  
"How are you Harry?"  
"Feeling like shit."  
Then it was silent for a moment.  
When Minerva spoke again it surprised Harry again how much the headmasters of Hogwarts know.  
"I don't think it is a very wise idea Harry. Isn't it better off where you left it?"  
Harry straightened himself and set his jaw.  
"I already made up my mind. I just want to say goodbye properly."  
"I don't like it, but well. Just promise me to really only say goodbye. Do not make him stay with you. You know from the story that it won't make any of you happy."  
"I promise - only - goodbye" Harry sobbed out, his vision blurred from the tears anew in his eyes.

The forest was relatively dark but he had no problem to find the path he had walked all those years before.  
When he was near the place where he thought it would be he started to search the ground.  
Somewhere here it must be, he thought.  
He searched hours, his fingers dirty, his face sweaty and he had been starting to be desperate an hour ago.  
When he finally found it he breathed a sigh of relieve.  
He could say goodbye after all.

The Resurrection Stone.  
He held the small stone in his hand when he was back at home and clean again. He was nervous. Extremely nervous. But he had to do this. Had to see him one last time.

He closed his eyes and turned the stone three times in his hand, but let his eyes closed. He was afraid to open them.  
"Oh Harry." He heard an all too familiar voice say.  
"Draco." He choked out as he opened his eyes to the translucent memory of his husband, the man he loved, his everything.  
And it was too much. He closed his eyes again, sobbing like a little child and so lost in the big concept of the world.  
"Harry, look at me." Draco said.  
"Open your eyes."  
Draco's voice was shaking.  
Harry opened them again and saw Draco crying.  
"I'm so sorry I left you, Harry. You don't know how much it pains me to see you hurting like that. I never ever wanted to hurt you like that. Forgive me?"  
"There is nothing to forgive, is there?" Harry said.  
"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't. It's just... It hurts so much."  
"I know love, I know. But don't worry I'm always be with you. I'll look after you. And we'll meet again at the end." Draco said soothing.  
"How can I wait when all I want is to be with you?!"  
Draco stared at Harry in wonder.  
"You would do that for me, wouldn't you? Dying, that is."  
"Yes." Harry breathed, a whisper that hung in the air like a promise. So powerful and yet with the power to destroy.  
"Please, don't." Draco whispered. "I love you. I want you to live. For me. Live your life! I wouldn't want you to die for me, love. I'll always love you."  
"I l-lov-ve y-ou too!" Harry sobbed, choking on his breath.  
"I know, love, I know. I'll watch over you, I promise. Please live and when the time has come we'll be together forever but promise that you live. For me. Promise. Please."  
Harry really didn't think that it would be ever possible for him to be happy, he felt so devastated and hopeless.  
"I'm not sure that I can, Draco. It hurts so much!"  
"Oh you can. I know you can. You are so strong Harry, the strongest man I've ever met. You were ready to die when you had had to, you will be able to live, even though it is so much more difficult and painful. You have your friends. And Teddy. Don't leave all that behind, like I left you. Promise me you'll be there for them. And please be there for my mother. She adores you. Nobody would want you to follow me."  
And Harry knew that Draco was right, knew that he had to keep living.  
"I promise. It still hurts. I don't think it will ever stop to hurt.."  
Draco cried and smiled sadly.  
"Now, Harry, love, I'll always be there. I think it's time you let me go. After all I won't be really gone.  
And ... Don't forget to open the presents. Maybe socialise a bit."  
Harry only cried. He didn't think he would be able to say anything.  
"Oh and - before I forget it - happy birthday, Harry. I love you."  
And Harry let go. The stone fell to the floor with a clack and Draco was gone. It was like it had been in the forest only now he would live not die.

He searched in Draco's (bigger) part of the wardrobe and found a big heavy package.  
He levitated it onto the table in the living room an unpacked. He sucked in a breath when he saw, what it was.  
The stone Pensieve was filled with memories.  
When Harry started with the first he noticed it was not only the memory but also the feelings that came with it.  
Draco had chosen many happy memories but also the bad ones, significant ones and some of them just doing mundane things.  
All with the feelings he had while doing all of it.  
Harry felt the love, the happiness, guilt and every little thing.  
He spent hours an hours watching them, scenes changing and crying over all the feelings.  
When he had finished he was speechless.  
And he missed Draco even more. It still hurt like hell. Maybe even worse than what one would imagine as hell.  
He felt as if his heart would burst with pain and love.  
When his tears dried he had cried so much he felt drained.

He didn't the other present.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos or better comment on how you liked it :D  
> Was my first fanfiction that is not fluff and it leaves me emotionally exhausted xD
> 
> and if anyone has ideas for a better title tell me !! ._.


End file.
